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I’m a 57-year-old lesbian and I’ve no intercourse drive. These are arduous phrases to jot down, however my spouse and I’ve not been intimate in years. She loves me and I do love her, however I think that over time she bought uninterested in initiating, and me both acquiescing out of obligation or turning her down. I wish to be regular however don’t really feel as if I’m. Docs dismiss me as both hormonal or menopausal. What ought to I do? What sort of specialist may also help me?

Individuals dwelling with such disappointment and quiet desperation about their sexual functioning or lack of it ought to by no means be dismissed. Sadly, I usually hear that they’re. You should be helped, so search a well-qualified, knowledgable intercourse therapist or practitioner of psychosexual drugs.

You could possibly additionally insist that your GP refer you for specialist analysis concerning a attainable hormone increase. The hormones that assist ladies really feel sexually alive – particularly oestrogen and testosterone – are likely to dwindle as we age, however there are methods to complement and increase them. Ladies who want to obtain assist for any sexual criticism must be revered and listened to: sexual well being is, in spite of everything, an important ingredient contributing to a very good high quality of life for all.

  • Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual problems.

  • If you want recommendation from Pamela on sexual issues, ship us a short description of your considerations to personal.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t ship attachments). Every week, Pamela chooses one downside to reply, which will probably be revealed on-line. She regrets that she can’t enter into private correspondence. Submissions are topic to our phrases and situations.

  • Feedback on this piece are premoderated to make sure dialogue stays on matters raised by the author. Please remember there could also be a brief delay in feedback showing on the location.

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